It's just so high, and I'm so tired.

I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment. But whatever it is, I hate it. I have found myself wanting to do stuff: go outside, take photos, read, get work done... but I just sit at the computer screen, wasting my days away. I've done this for about 3 weeks now. I want to go out and enjoy myself, see people, be me again but there's something that keeps me sat here in my room, at my laptop, doing nothing. I don't know how I feel anymore, who I am or what I should be doing. I don't concentrate, I just sit there. I find myself still on the laptop at 2am and in tears. And this is when I have college the next day. I'm so tired and sick and tired and just... eurgh.
I did stupid stuff, to help me cope, but people won't help me. They say they will. But they never do, do they? As long as they're ok and the people they love more are ok, then no one gives a shit. I miss being someone's number one and having that constant person I could always go to. I don't miss him, but I miss that. I feel so alone and empty and angry all the time, and I don't know what to do. I just want to break down on someone and have them hug me until it all goes away.
But no one is going to do that for me, are they?
I want to help people, and make them happier if I can't be but there's no one to help so I just get angrier and angrier and I want to scream. I want to hurt people. That's not who I am. This feeling is enveloping me. My mind feels like a prison, and if no one helps me out, god know what will happen.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.


help me.